Grateful

It's not all sad and scary and negative though. I don't think I have ever been as grateful of anything as I was when I saw Victoria for the first time. It probably sounds bad because I have Dayne, but when I gave birth to him I don't think I really and truly knew what it was to be grateful. I often said that everything in my life shifted when Dayne was born, he became the center of my world and I realized what happiness truly was. When I had Alexandra, everything shifted again and I TRULY understand what loss and pain was. Every sad or painful thing in my life paled in comparison. When Victoria was born, everything shifted again, everything in my world clicked into place and it all became complete and an amazing feeling came over me. I was not just grateful, but I felt an incredible peace.
My family is not just complete because of Victoria and Dayne, but because of Alexandra as well. They all made a different impact on me and I wouldn't be the same without having met any one of them.
When my grandma met Victoria for the first time she said, "She's real. She's really real." I laughed about it, but it captured what we were all feeling on the inside...awe.
I often find myself staring at Victoria thinking to myself how amazing this is, to have her, to be able to watch her grow, to see what kind of person she is. Everything she does is new and exciting, Steve, Dayne and I are always watching her, talking about whatever cute thing she did, or getting excited because she smiled at us.
It's amazing, to have this feeling, it definitely trumps all the negative and scary feelings.