Throughout my pregnancy I worried about my own and other people's expectations of this baby. I worried about the shoes other people would set out for her to fill. We didn't get Alexandra so when her sister came along, I worried that there would be some feelings that she should fill all the hopes and dreams that were dashed when we lost Alexandra.
I was especially worried about this for myself. What if I put too much onto this little girl? What if I expected all the things of her that I expected of Alexandra? It just didn't seem fair to me at all.
It's funny how you worry about things while you're pregnant that never come true once the baby is born. I was so grateful to have a living baby to take home, I was concentrating on HER, what she would be like, what she would love. I was happy to have a baby, and I didn't compare or expect anything from her, other than to be her own baby self.
And she's amazing, just for who she is. She would do this high pitched screech when she was first born and would cry, and it was adorable. The nurse at the hospital looked at me like I was insane when I told her it was cute. She commented that I found it cute "for now" but she was wrong. She loved her very first bath, and pretty much every bath since then. Her favorite thing when she was very little was sitting in her bouncy chair in the bathroom with the shower on. She went through a phase after she turned 2 months where she would scream whenever she was in the bathroom while I showered, it was a difficult few weeks, but she got over it and is now mostly content to sit there and soak in the nice steam.
It is an amazing thing, to actually hold this little baby, after everything we've been through, after thinking I would never get to have another baby. Maybe there are bigger expectations of her under the surface, but I can work on that one day at a time. And in the mean time, I will just be grateful for my family and our new addition.
I was especially worried about this for myself. What if I put too much onto this little girl? What if I expected all the things of her that I expected of Alexandra? It just didn't seem fair to me at all.
It's funny how you worry about things while you're pregnant that never come true once the baby is born. I was so grateful to have a living baby to take home, I was concentrating on HER, what she would be like, what she would love. I was happy to have a baby, and I didn't compare or expect anything from her, other than to be her own baby self.
And she's amazing, just for who she is. She would do this high pitched screech when she was first born and would cry, and it was adorable. The nurse at the hospital looked at me like I was insane when I told her it was cute. She commented that I found it cute "for now" but she was wrong. She loved her very first bath, and pretty much every bath since then. Her favorite thing when she was very little was sitting in her bouncy chair in the bathroom with the shower on. She went through a phase after she turned 2 months where she would scream whenever she was in the bathroom while I showered, it was a difficult few weeks, but she got over it and is now mostly content to sit there and soak in the nice steam.
It is an amazing thing, to actually hold this little baby, after everything we've been through, after thinking I would never get to have another baby. Maybe there are bigger expectations of her under the surface, but I can work on that one day at a time. And in the mean time, I will just be grateful for my family and our new addition.
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