I guess I will get to it. Beyond the emotional roller coaster that was pregnancy, I dealt with a lot of feelings and anxiety regarding the birth of my baby. I would deliver this baby in the same hospital that I had delivered all of my children, the same place that Alexandra was stillborn. I WANTED to deliver there, and I had to because it was the only place my prenatal clinic delivered. It was one part of the fear of delivery. Would it be too hard for me to go there, to be there delivering another child after losing Alexandra.
After much careful consideration of my mental health and the health of the baby, I made the choice to be induced at 37 weeks, rather than go through the trauma of going beyond the time we lost Alexandra. So, after an ultrasound to make sure everything was ok, the date was set and it would be January 11th.
I prepared the house, cleaned, set everything up and packed bags for myself, the baby, and Dayne. I was reluctant, waiting for the bottom to fall out, waiting for the horrible thing to happen. As the days led up to my induction, the terrible thing didn't happen. And deep within myself, I felt a tiny bit of hope, mixed in with the fear that the bad thing might happen while I was at the hospital, when I delivered, or shortly after birth.
On January 11th we got Dayne off to school and waited for the hospital to call. I was up at 5am, I couldn't sleep, so I was up, dressed, and completely ready and waiting. They didn't call until after 11am, and we didn't end up getting in until after 3pm. They thought that I would just be getting prepped for induction. Something to do with a balloon to soften my cervix, the whole thing freaked me out a bit! But, when I got in there and they checked, they decided that they could just break my water and induce me right away. I had no idea what I was in for!
After much careful consideration of my mental health and the health of the baby, I made the choice to be induced at 37 weeks, rather than go through the trauma of going beyond the time we lost Alexandra. So, after an ultrasound to make sure everything was ok, the date was set and it would be January 11th.
I prepared the house, cleaned, set everything up and packed bags for myself, the baby, and Dayne. I was reluctant, waiting for the bottom to fall out, waiting for the horrible thing to happen. As the days led up to my induction, the terrible thing didn't happen. And deep within myself, I felt a tiny bit of hope, mixed in with the fear that the bad thing might happen while I was at the hospital, when I delivered, or shortly after birth.
On January 11th we got Dayne off to school and waited for the hospital to call. I was up at 5am, I couldn't sleep, so I was up, dressed, and completely ready and waiting. They didn't call until after 11am, and we didn't end up getting in until after 3pm. They thought that I would just be getting prepped for induction. Something to do with a balloon to soften my cervix, the whole thing freaked me out a bit! But, when I got in there and they checked, they decided that they could just break my water and induce me right away. I had no idea what I was in for!
No comments:
Post a Comment